My Extended Essay Is Due Tomorrow

My Extended Essay Is Due Tomorrow-37
You haven't seen light in so long you glow in the dark. You find yourself thinking "Without stress my life would be empty." 148. You wonder about things like what would happen if your car traveled at the speed of light and your turned your lights on. Everything you know about sex, you learned from the English reading list. You enjoy finding out the hard way why normal distribution should work. Your smile of satisfaction fades when you remember to start on your World Lit paper. You've sold your soul ⦠and have to wait 4 years to get it back. You cloned yourself so you could sell your clones' souls to each of your teachers. Desperate to fill up your CAS hours, you claim watching a black and white movie as "creativity" and walking your dog as "activity", and your teacher approves it. You have a special "test writing sweater" that you wore to all the IB exams. Your idea of impure thoughts is whether or not to copy math homework. You can count your first math quiz grade on one hand. You wonder if there's Spark Notes on the Calculus book. You don't really cheat - you just tell people the answers. Cheating became too difficult, so you took up telepathy.

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You've fooled yourself into believing that colleges actually care whether you're in IB or not. You try to wake up fast enough to catch yourself sleeping - and succeed.

You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.

You have the chemical formula and steps of synthesis for caffeine memorized. You still think Beavis and Butthead is a true-to-life TV show about "normal high school".

You look foward to hell week because you think hell would be an improvement on your current situation.

Your idea of a 3 AM party game is analyzing the socio-political commentary in Dr.

You complain about studying for your foreign language exam ...

You use your To K background to analyze Winnie the Pooh's Book of Quotations. When asked what significance Hitler had to Racial Social Darwinism, you say "Well, he didn't like Jews." 163. You've mastered the art of procrastination so well that your research paper finishes printing just seconds before you have to leave for school. You get to college and realize the classes you are taking seem really familiar. Your college professors' grading systems seem a little too lenient.

You managed to write 4,000 words on the subject "Hitler was a nice guy, wasn't he? You've managed to get through an entire year of History of the Americas without reading one page of your test book.

Your Physics teacher knows how to say "outstanding" in over 30 languages, yet chooses "cool beans!

You're disappointed when you only get 100% on a test.


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